Top 7 Things You Must Know Before Speaking to Your Next Difficult Customer

Some customers are just plain difficult. They are always complaining, they are picky, know-it-alls, egocentric, faultfinders, constant complainers, unreasonable, demanding…you know these customers. Here are 7 insights that will help you gain the upper hand with difficult customers and ultimately regain their goodwill.

1. Anger precludes rationality.
   
   Angry customers simply cannot rationalize. This is because they are so wrapped up in the emotion of anger that everything you say is filtered through their emotions. Anger is an emotion and emotions are experienced in the right side of the brain. Rationalizing, problem solving, listening, and negotiating are all left-brain activities and your angry customer is stuck in the right side of the brain, and therefore cannot be expected to rationalize with you.
   
   
2. Anger must be acknowledged.
   
   It’s not productive for you to ignore anger or tiptoe around it. There is something known as the communication chain. When people communicate, they expect the person or persons they are communicating with to respond or react…this response or reaction is a link in the communication chain. A failure to respond to communication leaves the communication chain unlinked…broken. For example, If I walk into my office and say... “Hello Sherry, how are you?” ...and she says absolutely nothing, she’s broken the communication chain. And that leaves me feeling awkward, perhaps embarrassed.
   
   If a customer expresses anger and we fail to respond to it, the communication chain is broken and the customer feels like they are not getting through, that you are not listening. So, the customer may speak louder to make his or her point. They might become even angrier and more difficult, as they are resorting to whatever it takes to feel heard and understood. You can keep your angry customers from getting angrier by acknowledging their anger and responding to it. You can respond to anger with a statement like, “Clearly you’re upset and I want you to know that getting to the bottom of this is just as important to me as it is to you.” This statement directly and professionally addresses anger – without- making the customer even angrier. Now that the anger has been acknowledged, you have completed the communication chain.
   
   
3. First, diffuse anger.
   
   Research has shown that an approach to problem solving that emphasizes anger diffusion first results in a lesser payout by the company. If you first work to diffuse anger and then move into problem solving, you will find that communication is much easier because your customer is able to really listen to you. Problem resolution is now possible because your customer is calm and in the position to rationalize.

   Beginning the problem solving process before addressing and diffusing anger makes your job much harder because your customer is emotional and not able to fully rationalize. If you do attempt to solve the problem or negotiate, you will almost always have to offer more to satisfy the customer than you would if you had successfully first diffused anger.
   
   

4. The issue is not the issue.
   
   In conflict situations, the issue at hand is not usually the “real” issue. The way the issue is handled becomes the real issue. What really matters to customers is not the $2 overcharge or the fact their order for cranberry red paint is actually holly berry red. What does matter is how the company responds and resolves the issue. That becomes the real issue
   
   
5. Ventilation is crucial.
   
   An Angry customer can be compared to an erupting volcano. When a volcano is erupting, there is nothing you can do about it. You can’t speed up the eruption, you can’t put a lid on it, and you cannot direct or redirect it…it must erupt. When a customer is angry, they must experience and express their anger…through venting. We should not interrupt them or tell them to “calm down.” This would be as futile as trying to tame a volcano. A volcano erupts and eventually subsides. Your angry customer will vent and eventually calm down.
   
   
6. An apology works.
   
   An apology makes the angry customer feel heard and understood. It diffuses and anger and allows you to begin to re-establish trust. Not only that, but pilot studies have found that the mere act of apologizing has reduced lawsuits, settlement, and defense costs. You need to apologize to customers regardless of fault. Certainly, the apology needs to be carefully worded. Here’s an example of a sincere, yet careful apology:
   “Please accept my sincere and unreserved apology for any inconvenience this may have caused you.”
   
   
7. You cannot win an argument with a customer.
   
   Certainly, you can prove your point and even have the last word. You may be right, but as far as changing your customer’s mind is concerned, you will probably be just as futile as if YOU were wrong. Your goal in complaint situations is to retain the customer, not to be right. If you win the argument, you may very well have lost the customer. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

Top 7 Ways to Get An Angry Customer to Back Down

Here are seven field-tested and proven tips for getting angry customers to back down.

1. Apologize. An apology makes the angry customer feel heard and understood. It diffuses and anger and allows you to begin to re-establish trust. Not only that, but pilot studies have found that the mere act of apologizing has reduced lawsuits, settlement, and defense costs. You need to apologize to customers regardless of fault. Certainly, the apology needs to be carefully worded. Here’s an example of a sincere, yet careful apology:
   
   “Please accept my sincere and unreserved apology for any inconvenience this may have caused you.”
   
   
2. Kill Them Softly With Diplomacy. This simple phrase has never failed me:
   
   
   “Clearly, we’ve upset you and I want you to know that getting to the bottom of this is just as important to me as it is to you.”
   
   
   When you say this, anger begins to dissipate. You’ve addressed the anger directly and non defensively and you haven’t been pulled into the drama of the attack.
   
   
3. Go into Computer Mode. To use Computer Mode you take on the formalities of a computer. You speak generally, without emotion, and you don't take the bait your angry or difficult customer is throwing you. Your words, tone, and attitude are completely impersonal and neutral - (Think of the automated response system you speak to when you call your wireless phone company or bank.)
   
   
   This "computer mode" response deflects, diffuses, and disarms angry customers because you don't add fuel to the fire by giving your difficult customer what they want -an emotional reaction. When you don't take the bait, the difficult customer is forced to stop dead in their tracks. And that means you regain control (and confidence).
   
   
4. Give this question a shot: “Have I done something personally to upset you?... I’d like to be a part of the solution.” Of course, you know you haven’t done anything to upset the customer. You ask this question to force the angry customer to think about his behavior. Often, the mere asking of this question is enough to get the ballistic customer to begin to shift from the right brain to the left brain, where he can begin to listen and rationalize.
   
   
5. Show empathy. Empathy can be a powerful tool used to disarm an angry customer and show that you genuinely care about the inconvenience the customer has experienced. Expressing empathy is also good for YOU, as it helps you truly begin to see the problem from the customer’s perspective/and this perspective will help keep you from losing your cool when your customer gets hot. By letting customers know that you understand why they are upset, you build a bridge of rapport between you and them.
   
   
   Here are some phrases that express empathy:
   
   
   • “That must have been very frustrating for you.”
   
   • “I realize the wait you encountered was an inconvenience.”
   
   • “If I were in your shoes, I’m sure I’d feel just as you do.”
   
   • “It must have been very frustrating for you have waited five days for your order and for that I am sorry.”
   
   
6. Deploy the “When Question” technique. Let’s say a customer says to you: “You people at ABC Company care nothing about the customer. All that matters to you is the almighty dollar!” This customer is clearly upset and emotional. He is trying to bait you with these attacking words. If you respond back defensively or emotionally, the customer has won. Instead of responding the way the customer wants you to, deploy the “When Question Technique.”

   Simply say, “When did you start feeling that ABC didn’t about your concerns?”

   Because this response is NOT what the customer was expecting when he through out the bait, you throw him off guard. If he answers your question, you are now in control of the conversation. Not only that, you will be well on the path to creating a calm resolve with the customer.
   
   

7. And finally, here’s a tip that works like magic. …. Show appreciation for the difficult person’s feedback. After your difficult customer has ranted and raved, you can regain control of the conversation by interjecting---not interrupting, but interjecting to thank them for taking the time to give you feedback. You can say something like:
   
   *Thanks for being so honest.
   
   *Thanks for taking the time to let us know how you feel.
   
   *We appreciate customers who let us know when things aren’t right.
   
   *Thanks for caring so much.
   
   The reason this tip works so effectively is because the last thing your irate or unreasonable customer expects is for you to respond with kindness and gratitude. It’s a shock factor and many times you’ll find that your customer is stunned silent and this is exactly what you want. When the customer is stunned into silence, you get in the driver’s seat and steer the conversation in the direction you want it to go.

Myra Golden is an award-winning professional speaker and principal of Myra Golden Seminars, LLC, a customer service training firm serving clients in food and beverage, banking, healthcare, hospitality, and other industries. Her client list includes McDonald’s, Johnson & Johnson, Coca-Cola, Frito-Lay, Michelin Tires, Pirelli, and Procter & Gamble, among many others.

Top 7 Reasons a Customer Service Representative Should Be Stopped Cold

No matter how difficult the circumstance or the customer, we must never lose sight of our purpose. To help keep you in "check" I am providing my list of 7 unforgivable sins of customer service employees. Read on to see how you measure up.

1. Hanging up on a customer. We all know it happens and there are certainly many times you want to slam the phone down, but do think twice. Patience, diplomacy and professionalism can help you remain calm and above the customer's ill-bred attitude.
   
   
2. Arguing with a customer. You can never win an argument with a customer. Theoretically, you can prove your point but you may end up losing your customer so you really lose.
   
   
3. Saying, "This is all I can do." You are there to help. Give your customer options and look for every way you can help.
   
   
4. Telling a customer to calm down. Certainly, there are times when a calm disposition would make every one's life easier, but telling your customer to calm down is rarely effective. Like you, your customers don't like to be told what to do. Try this approach instead: "Clearly you're upset and I want you to know that getting to the bottom of this is just as important to me as it is to you."
   
   
5. Escalating voice. Avoid the temptation to yell just because your customer is yelling. You don't want to get caught up in their drama. Instead, remain centered and calm, relying on your ability to communicate with diplomacy and professionalism.
   
   
6. Telling a customer s/he is wrong. You will be smart to never tell a customer they are wrong or mistaken. Telling a person they are wrong arouses opposition and will make the customer want to battle with you. (Ever tell your spouse they are wrong?) In "How to Win Friends and Influence People" Dale Carnegie points out an indisputable fact, "it's difficult, under even the most benign conditions to change people's minds." So why make it harder by starting out on the wrong foot? If you know your customer is wrong, it's better to start off saying, "I thought the contract read otherwise, but let's take a look."
   
   
7. Failing to apologize to customers in the wake of problems. One of the easiest and quickest ways to diffuse anger, create rapport, and regain goodwill with unhappy customers is to apologize. Offering an apology to a customer who experiences a problem should be a natural response from customer service providers. Yet, recent research reveals the startling fact that 50% of customers who voice a complaint say they never received an apology.

   
   
   Not only does an apology give "soft benefits" such as creating calm, shaving minutes off of talk time, less stress on the employee, etc., it can also translate into significant and measurable savings in reduced lawsuits, settlement costs, and defense costs.

Myra Golden is an award-winning professional speaker and principal of Myra Golden Seminars, LLC, a customer service training firm serving clients in food and beverage, banking, healthcare, hospitality, and other industries. Her client list includes McDonald’s, Johnson & Johnson, Coca-Cola, Frito-Lay, Michelin Tires, Pirelli, and Procter & Gamble, among many others.

Top 7 Phrases to Use With Unhappy Customers

The next time you come in contact with an unhappy customer, try one of these phrases. They are highly effective in helping to restore customer confidence and facilitating diplomatic problem solving.

1. “The problem you experienced is no more acceptable to us than it was to you.”
   
   
2. “I understand your concern. What do you think would be fair?”
   
   
3. “Although you might not agree with my decision, I’d like to explain it so you can at least understand.”
   
   
4. “Thank you for bringing this to our attention. We appreciate customers who let us know when things aren’t right.”
   
   
5. “Thank you so much for your feedback. We appreciate you giving us an opportunity to correct the problem and to meet your expectations.”
   
   
6. “Have I done something personally to upset you? I’d like to be a part of the solution.”
   
   
7. “Mr. Warren, we want to get to the bottom of this just as much as you do.”

Myra Golden is an award-winning professional speaker and principal of Myra Golden Seminars, LLC, a customer service training firm serving clients in food and beverage, banking, healthcare, hospitality, and other industries. Her client list includes McDonald’s, Johnson & Johnson, Coca-Cola, Frito-Lay, Michelin Tires, Pirelli, and Procter & Gamble, among many others.

Top 7 Behaviors That Cause Problems With Angry Customers

Here are 7 common mistakes well-intentioned professionals make when it comes to dealing with unhappy customers. Learn exactly what not to do so that you're well positioned to completely regain the goodwill of unhappy customers after any service mishap.

1. Telling the customer he or she is wrong. You will be smart to NEVER tell a customer they are wrong or mistaken. Telling a person they are wrong arouses opposition and will make the customer want to battle with you. (Ever tell your spouse they are wrong?) “It is difficult, under even the most benign conditions to change people’s minds.” So why make it harder by starting out on the wrong foot? If you know your customer is wrong, it’s better to start off saying something like, “I thought the contract read otherwise, but let’s take look.”
   
   
2. Arguing with a customer. You must realize you cannot win an argument with a customer. Certainly, you can prove your point and even have the last word. You may be right, but as far as changing your customer’s mind is concerned, you will probably be just as futile as if you were wrong. Your goal in complaint situations is to retain the customer, not to be right. If you win the argument, you may very well have lost the customer. Think carefully about the response you want to give and ask yourself, “Is my reaction one that will relieve the problem, or will it just relieve frustration? Will my reaction drive my customer further away? What price will I pay if “I” win the argument?” The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
   
   
3. Telling a customer to calm down. Certainly, there are times when a calm disposition would make every one's life easier, but telling your customer to calm down is rarely effective. Like you, your customers don't like to be told what to do. Try this approach instead: "Clearly you're upset and I want you to know that getting to the bottom of this is just as important to me as it is to you."
   
   
4. Failing to apologize to customers in the wake of problems. One of the easiest and quickest ways to diffuse anger, create rapport, and regain goodwill with unhappy customers is to apologize. Offering an apology to a customer who experiences a problem should be a natural response from customer service providers. Yet, recent research reveals the startling fact that 50% of customers who voice a complaint say they never received an apology.
   
   Not only does an apology give "soft benefits" such as creating calm, shaving minutes off of talk time, less stress on the employee, etc., it can also translate into significant and measurable savings in reduced lawsuits, settlement costs, and defense costs.
   
   An apology does not have to be an admission of fault. It can be offered to express regret. For example, "I'm so sorry for any inconvenience this misunderstanding has caused you."
   
   
5. Escalating voice. Avoid the temptation to yell just because your customer is yelling. You don't want to get caught up in their drama. Instead, remain centered and calm, relying on your ability to communicate with diplomacy and professionalism.
   
   
6. Not allowing the customer to vent. An angry customer can be compared to an erupting volcano. When a volcano is erupting, there is nothing you can do. You can’t tame it, can’t speed it up, and you can’t control it. It must erupt. But erupting volcanoes eventually subside. Your angry customer – who is intensely emotional – is the same way. He must erupt (that is…express his anger through venting). You can’t tame the customer, you must simply let him vent. After briefly venting, most angry customers will begin to calm down. Let your customers vent.
   
   
7. Proclaiming to the customer: “This is all I can do.” You are there to help. Give your customer options and look for every way you can help.

Myra Golden is an award-winning professional speaker and principal of Myra Golden Seminars, LLC, a customer service training firm serving clients in food and beverage, banking, healthcare, hospitality, and other industries. Her client list includes McDonald’s, Johnson & Johnson, Coca-Cola, Frito-Lay, Michelin Tires, Pirelli, and Procter & Gamble, among many others.

Top 7 Simple Guidelines for Handling Email Customer Complaints

Many companies have seen a surge in customer feedback through the email stream and for many customers email is the preferred communication means. Here are 7 quick tips for staying at the top of the email correspondence game.

1. Check emails as frequently as you check the phones. You answer the phones every time they ring and emails should be treated the same way. It’s not acceptable to check customer emails one or two times daily or hourly. Email response must be a priority.
   
   
2. Send an initial reply immediately – certainly no later than 1 business day.
   The easiest and most economical means for an initial reply is to have an automatic reply setup through your complaint tracking system or other software package. Some software packages are sophisticated enough to read the customer’s email, pick up on key words and reply based on email content. Other, simpler, packages simply respond with content you input. When I worked in consumer affairs at Thrifty, our auto responder simply said:
   
   Thank you for contacting us. Your email has been forwarded to our Customer Care Department. We will contact you within 5 business days.
   
   
3. Reply via email.
   Customers contacting you by email are suggesting that email is their preferred method of communication. Unless absolutely necessary, avoid calling or sending a response via postal (snail) mail. (Obviously, refunds or token items would still be sent postal mail.)
   
   
4. Resolve problem within 3 – 5 business days.
   The sooner the better. Email customers do not have tolerance for a 10-day turnaround. Five days is actually stretching it. Strive for immediacy.
   
   
5. Activate the spell-check feature. Spelling counts. Always, always proof emails.
   
   
6. Capture and archive emails in your CRM system. It’s critically important to log all email communications (both to and from the company) in your customer relationship management (CRM) system with dates and times. This helps you when emails are escalated, information is misinterpreted or there is an accusation of no response from the company.
   
   
7. Post a FAQ section on your company’s Contact Us page. Identify the top 10 reasons customers email your company and post responses to these queries on your website. Doing this can reduce the number of emails coming into your department or can better prepare your staff to respond. For example, At Thrifty Rent-A-Car System hundreds of customers contact Customer Care each month requesting a copy of a past rental agreement. The Customer Care Department created a form on the website specifically for customers requesting a rental agreement. Amazon.com has forecasted dozens of FAQ customers are likely to encounter and listed them on their site.

Myra Golden is an award-winning professional speaker and principal of Myra Golden Seminars, LLC, a customer service training firm serving clients in food and beverage, banking, healthcare, hospitality, and other industries. Her client list includes McDonald’s, Johnson & Johnson, Coca-Cola, Frito-Lay, Michelin Tires, Pirelli, and Procter & Gamble, among many others.

Top 7 WOW Ways to WOW Customers!

This week is National Customer Service Week. As we celebrate the people who pay our bills, I want to give you a few low-cost and no-cost ideas to WOW Customers so that they come back again and again and tell everyone they know.

1. Thank customers who voice a complaint. This can be done via handwritten note, typed letter, or even an email: “Thank you for your feedback. We appreciate customers who let us know when things aren’t right.”
   
   
2. Respond to emails within 4 hours (WOW!)
   
   
3. Be Gumby. The Container Store has adopted Gumby as their unofficial mascot. Gumby symbolizes being flexible as you relate to internal and external customers.
   
   
4. Send out Valentines Day cards that say, “We love doing business with you.”
   
   
5. Have a live person answer the phone – with no wait time.
   
   
6. Myra Golden Seminars sends all meeting planners a box of Death by Chocolate cookies to thank them for their business.
   
   
7. Send out Thanksgiving cards that say “Thank you for your business.”

Myra Golden is an award-winning professional speaker and principal of Myra Golden Seminars, LLC, a customer service training firm serving clients in food and beverage, banking, healthcare, hospitality, and other industries. Her client list includes McDonald’s, Johnson & Johnson, Coca-Cola, Frito-Lay, Michelin Tires, Pirelli, and Procter & Gamble, among many others.